


From Hogwarts with Love: Half Kneazle, Half Cat, All Spy

by DramioneConvert



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crookshanks is a spy!, F/M, HP: EWE, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Not Epilogue Compliant, POV: Crookshanks, Snark galore!, The Cattery, Witty Banter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2018-12-31 07:01:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12127065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DramioneConvert/pseuds/DramioneConvert
Summary: Draco and Hermione have returned to Hogwarts for their eighth year. McGonagall is worried about how it’s affecting them and enlists Crookshanks as a spy. A ridiculous tail :-) told from Crookshanks’ perspective.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HermioneJeanWayne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HermioneJeanWayne/gifts).



> My friend, HermioneJeanWayne, and I decided to make our own Dramione challenge. We read a joke on Facebook about the cats of Hogwarts having a place where they congregate like the owlery but called the cattery and decided to use that as a prompt to each write a fan fic based on it. Here's mine! Hope you enjoy!

** Chapter 1 – September 1998 **

“For Merlin’s sake, Crookshanks. You’re supposed to be a sentient being. Do you have to clean yourself in mixed company?”

“I may be half kneazle, but I’m also half cat, Minerva. Besides, I don’t have opposable thumbs for the majority of each day.”

The gray tabby with the black squares around the eyes hissed at the ginger cat with the short snout. The other occupants of the Hogwarts “Cattery” as they liked to call it didn’t pay them any attention. Ordinary cats were shrewd creatures, but they couldn’t compare to the Animagus form of Headmistress Minerva McGonagall and the half-kneazle familiar of Hermione Granger, Brightest Witch of Her Age. The owls had the owlery to roost in, and the cats had the next tower over to bask in the sun as they watched their never-gonna-happen prey. A different kind of plotting happened here for Minerva and Crookshanks though.

It was the fall after the Second Wizarding War, and a small group of seventh years (now eighth years) had come back to complete their education. They hadn’t finished the year before and some, like Hermione Granger, had skipped their final year altogether. Obviously, they had fought a war though and were far more weathered than their 18 years on this Earth should have allowed. These special circumstances required some adjustments to the curriculum and the living situation of these students who had endured so much.

The Board of Governors had decided that each student seeking reenrollment would be informed of the changes and held to a binding contract to abide by the stipulations, or they would be removed from the premises. The returning eighth years would be housed in a shared dormitory regardless of house affiliation, but each student would be allowed their own room. This set up served a dual purpose of promoting inter-house unity while affording some independence and sanctuary for the haggard bunch. The common room was decorated in neutral colors, and there was a special study room off of the shared area as well.

Minerva had to admit she was surprised at the students who chose to return. There were 10 in all, but the biggest source of interest had been Hermione and Draco Malfoy. She supposed she should understand Hermione’s decision. That girl was compelled to learn as much as possible, and there was no way she could go on without achieving superior scores in all her NEWTs. However, Minerva knew the castle held as many sad memories for Hermione as it did happy ones so she was particularly concerned about her favorite student.

Malfoy was another case altogether. Having escaped going to Azkaban with the other Death Eaters due in no small part to Harry Potter and Hermione’s testimony about his appearance and actions during the war, she supposed he probably was at loose ends. Merlin’s Beard, he had a madman living in his house and torturing his family and their friends for two years, even if most of them were complicit in Voldemort’s insanity, that would have to scar a boy for life. _No doubt it did_ , she thought wryly. _I’ve seen the ghastly Dark Mark to prove it._

She was interrupted from her thoughts by the disgusting sound of someone licking themselves again, loudly and slowly. _Can cats roll their eyes?_ she thought. _I know they can glare daggers_. She narrowed her eyes to slits. Crookshanks finally stopped preening himself and rolled over on his back, limbs stretching languidly in all directions. _That flea bag looks smug_ , she thought.

“If you’re quite finished,” she hissed, and Crookshanks opened one eye in her direction. “I’d like to hear your report about how they’re doing.” It was only one week into the new term, and already, she was starting to regret her decision to elicit the sassy feline’s help in spying on the eighth years.

“Of course, my liege,” he drawled. “That moron Finnegan managed to blow himself up again yesterday. Why anyone allows him to continue with Potions is beyond me. Longbottom is hiding some muggle plant called a Venus Fly Trap in his room, and the thing actually snapped at me as I was performing my research!”

Minerva had wasted as much time as she could stand. She reared up on her hind legs and bat the insolent cat about his ears several times in rapid succession. “Those aren’t the kind of updates I want, and you know it!”

“Me-OW!” Crookshanks yelped and jumped across the room to avoid her pummeling paws. He hissed at her from the corner. “Abusing me will not get you what you want either. What am I receiving out of this arrangement anyway?”

Minerva made a show of cleaning her paws boredly. “Free range of the castle 24 hours per day is what we agreed upon, but if you’d rather be stuck in the dorms again…”

Crookshanks glared at her for a few moments before continuing. “Hermione seems to be avoiding the Malfoy boy at all costs. She spends most of her time with Luna and Ginny or studying in the eighth year private room, but I have seen her glancing at Malfoy when she thinks no one is looking. And she’s not the only one. He’s always looking for her when he enters the common room, and several times, I’ve seen him check the study room for her. So far, they’ve had no communication though.”

“Excellent. That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Crookshanks glared again. “How does she seem to be handling the adjustment?” Minerva realized she was already tensing to hear what she knew wouldn’t be good.

Crookshanks dipped his head. “She still cries a lot when she’s in her room by herself. And she screams out at night from the nightmares about what that Lestrange woman did to her.”

Minerva mewed in sympathy and knew she’d have tears glistening in her eyes if she were in her human form. “Thank you, Crookshanks,” she said quietly. “Look after her, will you?”

Crookshanks nodded his head, and Minerva trotted off to her office. As she was descending the stairs from the tower, she transformed back to her normal self and dabbed at her eyes with her handkerchief. She hoped Hermione would find some solace soon.


	2. Chapter 2

** Chapter 2 – October 1998 **

As Minerva made her way up the tower stairs, she hoped Crookshanks would have some better news about Hermione for her this time. In the past month, she’d noticed that Harry and Ron Weasley had met Hermione and Ginny in Hogsmeade. She was surprised to see that Hermione and Ron’s relationship seemed to still be platonic. She thought they had been together after the war, but maybe Crookshanks could shed some light on that as well.

As she entered the open-air tower on all fours, she stopped immediately at the sight of Crookshanks lying lazily in the sunshine with a mouse’s tail trapped under his paw. The mouse was trying futilely to escape.

Minerva sat on her haunches and flicked her tail impatiently. “Really? Playing with your food?”

“Food? Merlin, no. I only eat what the house elves prepare in the kitchen.” He raised his paw, and the mouse scampered off. “I just haven’t trusted a rat since that Scabbers bloke. I wish I had eaten him when I had the chance.”

Minerva had to admit he wasn’t wrong. “I think we can all agree on that,” she said. “How’s Hermione? I saw her and Mr. Weasley last weekend. Are they not together anymore?”

“No, that didn’t last very long. They decided they were better off as friends. They’re trying to get back to where they were…In their friendship…” A bug flew by and Crookshanks trailed off as he half-heartedly batted at it.

Minerva smiled internally at his distractedness. “Ahem,” she said after a few seconds. Crookshanks continued to paw the insect, but his ears pricked up. “What about Mr. Malfoy?”

“Mostly the same. Still lurking about looking for Hermione. She’s mentioned him to me a few times. Saying she feels sorry for him, that he’s probably lonely, that’s he’s changed a lot since the war.”

Minerva couldn’t help herself. “Really? What did you say?” Immediately, when the words were out, she realized her mistake. She was thankful for the fur on her face to hide the blush.

Crookshanks slowly turned his head to look at her. She tried to hold her ground. “Meeeooow,” he said slowly. Minerva held her nose up in the air. “Is that all you have to report?” she sniffed.

“She still has the nightmares, but she’s not crying as much at night,” he said after he regarded her a few moments.

“Thank you,” Minerva said curtly, and she turned to go. All the way back to her office, she thought about what Crookshanks had said about Malfoy changing. It was true. She hadn’t heard him mutter so much as an unkind word to anyone since he arrived back at Hogwarts. Now that she thought about it, she hadn’t seen or heard him talking to anyone. He usually sat by himself at the end of the Slytherin table at meals. She’d also noticed him walking the grounds alone on the weekends. If Hermione had noticed these things, too, and she was sure she had, the Headmistress wondered if her star pupil might pluck up her Gryffindor courage to approach Mr. Malfoy.

Hermione had always had a soft spot for outcasts, and Malfoy was certainly that now. The two had shared a lot of bad blood, no doubt, but if anyone could put the past behind them to forge a new path, she had no doubt it would be Hermione Jean Granger. She looked forward to the next time Crookshanks would report on their progress.


	3. Chapter 3

** Chapter 3 – November 1998 **

The weather was starting to turn cooler, and Minerva was glad the scarf she wore transmuted to her Animagus form as thicker fur when she stepped into the tower. The wind was howling through the archways, and she could see the Whomping Willow below shiver and shed its leaves.

Crookshanks was sitting at attention, looking like the proverbial cat who swallowed the canary. _He must know something juicy_ , she thought. “Crookshanks,” she nodded in greeting.

He looked like he could barely contain his news. His tail was flicking anxiously. “Minerva – there’s been a change between them. It’s subtle, but it’s there. They’ve started studying together in the eighth year study room. No one else ever bothers to go in there so it’s always just the two of them.”

“Really?” McGonagall went to adjust her spectacles as she settled in to listen, but she just ended up pawing at her face. She hoped Crookshanks was too involved in his gossip to notice, but of course, she was out of luck.

“Forgot you’re not wearing your glasses again?” he asked with a knowing look.

The Headmistress raised her chin. “There was a fly,” she replied haughtily.

Crookshanks looked dubious. “Of course.” He stared at her a little longer with an amused twinkle in his eye.

“The students,” she said with no small degree of irritation, gesturing with her paw for him to continue.

“Yes, well – so they had both been studying in that room although they had managed to avoid sharing it…until last week.” He tilted his head in a conspiratorial manner.

“The plot thickens,” McGonagall said drolly.

“Indeed. I was on one of the couches in the common room, and I saw Hermione come in from the portrait hole. She was reading a book and not paying any attention to where she was going. Malfoy came down the stairs from his room sorting through some parchments he was holding, and they quite literally ran into each other on the way into the study room! They actually wedged themselves in the door! Hermione shrieked and dropped her book, and Malfoy grunted with an elbow to the gut. His papers went everywhere. It was quite the scene.”

Minerva snickered, but in her cat voice it came out somewhere between a hiss and a wheeze. “I’m sure it was a sight. What did they do then?”

“Other than blush furiously, they both apologized at the same time and scrambled for their things, bumping into each other several more times. Then Malfoy tried to let Hermione have the room, but she insisted it was large enough for both of them. They ended up studying in there, at separate tables of course, for hours. I actually gave up and went to bed before they did.”

“Merlin’s beard,” Minerva breathed. They sat in silence for a few minutes while it all sank in. “Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger getting along? That would be front page news for that rag, The Daily Prophet. Good thing I would sooner crush Rita Skeeter like the bug she is before allowing her in my school again,” Minerva said hotly.

“I see what you did there,” Crookshanks said with a wink. “Bug – ha!”

Minerva gave him a wry smile as she turned to go back to her office. “I look forward to your next installment.” She couldn’t help the spring in her step to hear how two of her students most affected by the war were well on their way to rehabilitation.


	4. Chapter 4

** Chapter 4 – December 1998 **

Minerva was nearly dead on her paws as she forced herself to climb the last flight of stairs to the Cattery. _Remind me never to plan a Yule Ball for the night before Winter Holidays again_ , she thought. If this weren’t the only time in her busy schedule she could meet with Crookshanks, she would have definitely canceled.

When she finally made it to the top of the tower, she plopped gracelessly in front of him. She heaved a heavy sigh and looked at him for the first time. He was standing, which was unusual, and nervously shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “Crookshanks? What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know that something is wrong, but Hermione is absolutely unwell. She seemed excited about the Ball tonight although she was stressed with her schoolwork until finals ended yesterday. She appeared to enjoy getting ready with Ginny and Luna, and they all went to the dance in a large group. But when the rest of the group came back without her, I began to worry. I checked her usual spots, the library, of course, but she was nowhere to be found. I just happened to pass by the Room of Requirement and found her sitting across the hall from its entrance in a small alcove. She was crying.”

“Oh no…” Minerva interrupted.

“Quite. I was about to go to her when I heard footsteps so I hung back. It was Malfoy. You know how he skulks around the castle.”

Minerva pursed her lips and nodded. The portraits lining the walls of most of the castle were as good a source of information about the comings and goings of each student as Potter’s Marauder’s Map. She had continued to allow Malfoy to roam because he didn’t seem to be causing any problems, and it seemed cathartic for him.

“He paused for just a moment, and then he called to her. She hadn’t heard him coming, and he obviously didn’t want to scare her. She still jumped and frantically tried to dry her tears, but she didn’t seem mad. He didn’t say anything else. He just came over and sat next to her with their shoulders touching. They both just stared at the door to the Room of Requirement. After a few minutes, Hermione said, ‘I’m trying to be happy and enjoy this, the only year I’ve had at Hogwarts where there’s no threat of imminent danger, but we’ve just lost so much. So many people aren’t here to enjoy it, too. The castle holds so many good and bad memories for me. It used to feel like my home, and it still does, but it’s different.’”

“Poor child. Bless her,” Minerva breathed. “What did Mr. Malfoy say?”

“He simply said, ‘I know,’ and tentatively reached to take her hand. She rested her head on his shoulder. That’s how they were when I left them to come see you.”

The black and gray cat and the orange tabby sat in silence for a while.

“Will you go-“ Minerva began, but Crookshanks interrupted.

“Check on her again? Of course. I think it’ll be good for her to have a few weeks away from Hogwarts. She’ll enjoy being with the Weasleys and her parents, now that their memories have been restored.” Minerva nodded. “See you at the Burrow for Christmas?” She nodded again.

Crookshanks stood to go, and when he was almost to the stairs, he heard her whisper her thanks. He knew she was hurting for Hermione, too.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost forgot to post a chapter today! Stupid work keeps getting in the way of my fan fics :-/

** Chapter 5 – January 1999 **

Again, it was a week into the new term when Minerva and her feline spy met to debrief in the Cattery. The Headmistress was very interested in how Hermione had fared over the holidays. She seemed rejuvenated at the Weasleys’, but it was hard not to draw some energy from that raucous celebration. She knew the true test would come in her return to school.

“Happy New Year, Crookshanks! How was your break?” she greeted cheerfully.

“Happy New Year, Minerva! Mine was great, very restful, but I can’t say the same for Hermione’s owl – Mr. Darcy. It’s a wonder he didn’t die from exhaustion.” Minerva cocked her head to the side in a silent plea for an explanation. “He and Malfoy’s owl, Zeus, spent so much time carrying messages back and forth, I expected them to refuse service any minute.”

Minerva was sure she was grinning like a fool. “Obviously, they are as interested in their masters’ happiness as we are,” she said.

“Happiness won’t cure a sprained wing if you ask me, but nobody did. And Hermione has taken to calling him ‘Draco’ at least to me, and she talks about him all the bloody time,” he said grumpily.

Minerva gave him a wry smile. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were jealous.”

Crookshanks huffed. “Hardly! I’m just tired of hearing about him is all.”

“Uh huh. How have her spirits been since she returned?”

“She was flitting all over her parents’ house to get ready to come back so I think she was happy to return. She enjoyed catching up with the girls on the train. After we got to her room though, she seemed to get nervous. She was literally walking around her room wringing her hands. And she kept changing her clothes and trying to tame her hair.”

“Ahhhh…I see where this is going,” Minerva said knowingly.

“She finally collected her books and went down to the study room. Malfoy was already there, and she just gave him a shy smile and blushed, mumbled a quick, ‘Malfoy,’ and opened her books. They didn’t say hardly a word to each other the entire 3 hours they were in there.” Crookshanks’ already smooshed snout wrinkled even further. “This is getting ridiculous. They had plenty to say via owl, but it seems the proverbial cat got their tongues when they met face to face again.”

“Young love, Crookshanks, young love.” Crookshanks turned to look at her, and the twinkle in her eye reminded him of Dumbledore.

He rolled his eyes. “If that’s where this is headed, I may be voiding my contract with you. I’m not sure how much more of this I can stand.”

“Oh come now,” she tutted. “You know just as well as I do that Hermione deserves to be happy. Just because she has found a place in her heart for Mr. Malfoy doesn’t mean your place there is any smaller.” Crookshanks made a grumbling noise. “Were you this bothered when she was interested in Mr. Weasley?” Crookshanks grumbled again. “Precisely. You know this is different. Be happy for her.”

Crookshanks spent a few minutes inspecting his claws while the Headmistress flicked her tail expectantly. “Okay,” he finally admitted.

“Smashing. Now, I’m off to another meeting. See you in a month!”

“Pip pip cheerio!” Crookshanks called sarcastically, and he thought he heard her chuckle from down the stairs.


	6. Chapter 6

** Chapter 6 – February 1999 **

Crookshanks had taken a nice nap after lunch and was headed down the stairs from Hermione’s room to meet McGonagall. They were supposed to meet last week, but something had come up; she had had to reschedule. Today was the day they had chosen. It was Valentine’s Day, but that didn’t mean anything to Crookshanks or McGonagall either it sounded like. _I need to start working on my own social life_ , he thought as he crossed the common room. That Siamese with the bright blue eyes hadn’t hissed at him lately so maybe she was coming around, and he could finally ask her out.

Suddenly, he heard shouting from the study room and stopped in his tracks. He immediately changed course to investigate.

“What am I _doing_?! I’m studying! Like I always do! Like _we_ always do!” Hermione screeched. He could see her now. She was sitting at the desk with her books and parchments scattered around like always. Draco was standing in front of her table with a slight pink tinge to his ears. _When did I start thinking of him as Draco_ , Crookshanks thought.

“Don’t you have anything special to do today? It’s Valentine’s, you know,” he said somewhat cagily, and Crookshanks noticed he was holding something behind his back.

“Of course I do, you great prat! But no one asked me to do anything special so I guess I’ll just be studying, alone, for the rest of my life.” She waved her hands around frantically. Her hair looked even bigger than normal and seemed to crackle a little in her outrage.

Malfoy smirked and sat down in the chair opposite her. He lazily leaned back and propped his feet on her desk, shuffling her papers some. She glared at him. “If you’re enjoying studying so much, I guess you won’t be interested in these then.” He leaned over and placed three small objects on the desk. Crookshanks stealthily moved closer to get a better look. Hermione appeared beyond annoyed but curiosity prevailed, and she leaned over to squint at them, too. Malfoy took out his wand and tapped each item. Now, Crookshanks could see a bouquet of roses, a box of chocolates, and a card.

She gaped at him. “What’s that?”

Crookshanks could see Malfoy’s resolve falter a little. “Umm…That’s what Muggles do for Valentine’s, right? Flowers, chocolates, and heartfelt sentiments?”

Slowly a funny smile overtook Hermione’s face. Her cheeks turned pink as she reached over to open the envelope. She quickly read it, and her lips curved higher with each swipe of her eyes across the cardstock. “Thank you, Draco,” she said quietly. “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you, too, and I’d love to have dinner with you.” She got up and walked around the desk. She picked up the roses and buried her nose in them. Pushing his feet off the corner, she perched in his lap. “I’d been hoping you would ask me out.” She ran her fingers through his fringe, and he closed his eyes at her touch. She leaned down and placed a lingering kiss on his cheek. “Where to?” she asked as she got up and flicked her wand to load her things back neatly in her satchel.

“I have a special dinner prepared in the Room of Requirement.” She looked straight into his eyes, and they shared a quiet moment. “And after that, I thought we might go for a walk on the grounds and try some ice skating?” Hermione threw her head back and laughed. Crookshanks hadn’t seen her so carefree in ages. He conceded that McGonagall was right. This was good for her. He was thrilled – for real this time.

“That’s awfully brave for a Slytherin!” she teased.

Draco scowled for a moment. “We have our moments,” he deadpanned. “Meet back down here in an hour?”

“That’s perfect!” Her smile was bright, and she bounded up the stairs to get ready. Crookshanks watched Malfoy watch her go with a smirk before heading up to his own room. Crookshanks chuckled to himself as he trotted off to meet the Headmistress, glad he had witnessed this latest development before their meeting.

~*~*~*~*~

When he arrived in the Cattery, McGonagall was already waiting for him. She opened her mouth to chastise him, no doubt, but he cut her off. “I know I’m late, but you’ll be very happy at the reason.” McGonagall looked skeptical but waited for him to continue. He relayed the entire interaction between Hermione and hell, he may as well call him Draco now, too.

When he finished, he thought he saw tears glistening in her eyes. “Minerva McGonagall, you old romantic. Are you crying?”

She sniffed and raised her chin. “Allergies,” she said quickly, but Crookshanks knew better.

“How did this happen?” she plunged forward to hide her burst of emotion. “I thought last we talked they were still studying quietly together.”

“They were!” he said excitedly. “But as the weeks went by, they began to talk and laugh more. I saw them walking the grounds together several times. They really seemed to develop a friendship.”

“Hell’s bells! Now, I’m really crying! I’m so happy for them!”

Crookshanks chuckled at her. He felt like he had gained a friend over the last few months, too. Through her stern exterior, he knew the Headmistress held a gentle soul at her core that only wanted her students to be happy and successful.

They chatted for a little while longer and fell into a companionable silence. They must have taken a cat nap because several hours later, they were awoken to the sounds of laughter. They shared a knowing look and bounded up on the half wall of the open-air Cattery to look down at the frozen black lake below. Draco’s white hair was glowing like a beacon, and they could tell he had just saved Hermione from falling on her bum on the ice. They were both laughing, but soon, they sobered. Hermione wrapped her arms around Draco’s neck, and he tightened his hold on her waist. The cats couldn’t hear what was being said, but the sweet kiss they witnessed spoke volumes.

Crookshanks made a horrible retching noise, and McGonagall glared at him sharply. “Hair ball,” he told her and winked. Minerva’s eyes narrowed to slits again, but she couldn’t cover the slight twitch of her lips as she turned back to watch the happy couple below. “You don’t fool me,” she said. “You’re just as happy for them as I am.”

~*~*~*~*~THE END~*~*~*~*~


End file.
